Saturday, July 30, 2011

Angsty and annoying

There are times in life when you must pick yourself up by the boot straps and cowboy the fuck up.  These last couple of months have NOT been those times for me.  These last couple months have been a time to wallow in my own self pity.  Things don't go my way, I'm fat, there's a mobile food court that's opening downtown, dashing my plans to get in on the action seeing as I have no way to get a loan, a cart, the food needed to start up not to mention the permits, or the commissary needed to prepare the food.

The dreams are big.  I always envision the end result however, getting there is a murky, foggy path that I can't take because I'm afraid and I always assume that I know exactly what it is that's going to happen.  As such, I may as well not take the risk, right?

What is familiar to me? Working for someone.  Office environments, having a boss, making some money and minimal responsibility are my comfort zones, I'm settling.  Is that how I want to lead my life?

What will happen in a few years when I've achieved my Master's degree?   Will I do something with it, or will I continue simply settling for a job that just barely pays the bills?

Seems I have a lot to think about.  Currently, the dreams still form and the hope is still there.